One Month!

   It feels very strange to write this, but I only have one month left until staging! Despite counting down the days and preparing, it still doesn't feel completely real yet. Maybe that is because it is hard to imagine my life in Botswana because I have no idea what things will actually be like?  It is difficult for something to feel real if you don't know what the reality is yet. I'm enthusiastic despite this.
  I keep feeling like I should be extremely busy preparing to leave, but the reality is all I have left to do is finish up at work in the next couple of weeks, get some paper work together, pack, wait, and say goodbyes. Easy right? OK, maybe the goodbye part is not so easy, and maybe I've been avoiding some of that a little?
   How does one say goodbye to the people they are closest to for 27 months? I've moved many times, and I enjoy meeting new people so I'm not stressed out about that. However, I've never been so far away for so long. I've always been able to hop in my car or on a bus or train to get to my family and friends if I needed to. How am I going to say goodbye to my 11 year old brother who is excited for me, but I know doesn't really get this whole Peace Corps thing or the concept of how much time 27 months actually is? What if something happens in my family when I'm gone, and I'm not there to help? How am I going to say goodbye to my very old dog Maggie knowing that is it very likely she will pass away when I'm gone? I don't want to tear up at all because I don't want anyone to take that as me being unhappy or not wanting to go. I don't want them to worry about me because I am happy, and I absolutely do want to go. I know I will say goodbyes and that I will be alright, but I also know that goodbyes are going to be the most difficult part of the next month by far. There is nothing else left to worry about!
   My parents are throwing me a goodbye party on the 19th. I think that will help with the goodbye process and enable things to feel a little more real too. Many of my extended family members from further away are even coming , as well as close friends. We are going to eat, drink, and dance! It should be a lot of fun, and I'm glad to be able to spend time with people I care about. As one of my best friends said I'm going to be "peacing out in style"!