I found out that I'm leaving for Philadelphia to go to staging on March 31st, one day earlier than originally planned! I will be taking a flight from Bangor, Maine at about 11:30am and arriving in Philadelphia at about 1pm. Then I will be hanging out waiting for registration at 6pm for a while, but hopefully I will be waiting with some other Bots10ers. I will spend April 1st at trainings, and then very early on April 2nd I will be taking a bus from Philadelphia to NYC to get on plane to South Africa for 15 hours followed by a shorter plane ride from South Africa to Gaborone, a city in Botswana!
Other good news is that I only have 10 shifts left at my job! My last day at work is also now one day earlier!
I think this feels real now.
3/3/11
3/1/11
One Month!
It feels very strange to write this, but I only have one month left until staging! Despite counting down the days and preparing, it still doesn't feel completely real yet. Maybe that is because it is hard to imagine my life in Botswana because I have no idea what things will actually be like? It is difficult for something to feel real if you don't know what the reality is yet. I'm enthusiastic despite this.
I keep feeling like I should be extremely busy preparing to leave, but the reality is all I have left to do is finish up at work in the next couple of weeks, get some paper work together, pack, wait, and say goodbyes. Easy right? OK, maybe the goodbye part is not so easy, and maybe I've been avoiding some of that a little?
How does one say goodbye to the people they are closest to for 27 months? I've moved many times, and I enjoy meeting new people so I'm not stressed out about that. However, I've never been so far away for so long. I've always been able to hop in my car or on a bus or train to get to my family and friends if I needed to. How am I going to say goodbye to my 11 year old brother who is excited for me, but I know doesn't really get this whole Peace Corps thing or the concept of how much time 27 months actually is? What if something happens in my family when I'm gone, and I'm not there to help? How am I going to say goodbye to my very old dog Maggie knowing that is it very likely she will pass away when I'm gone? I don't want to tear up at all because I don't want anyone to take that as me being unhappy or not wanting to go. I don't want them to worry about me because I am happy, and I absolutely do want to go. I know I will say goodbyes and that I will be alright, but I also know that goodbyes are going to be the most difficult part of the next month by far. There is nothing else left to worry about!
My parents are throwing me a goodbye party on the 19th. I think that will help with the goodbye process and enable things to feel a little more real too. Many of my extended family members from further away are even coming , as well as close friends. We are going to eat, drink, and dance! It should be a lot of fun, and I'm glad to be able to spend time with people I care about. As one of my best friends said I'm going to be "peacing out in style"!
I keep feeling like I should be extremely busy preparing to leave, but the reality is all I have left to do is finish up at work in the next couple of weeks, get some paper work together, pack, wait, and say goodbyes. Easy right? OK, maybe the goodbye part is not so easy, and maybe I've been avoiding some of that a little?
How does one say goodbye to the people they are closest to for 27 months? I've moved many times, and I enjoy meeting new people so I'm not stressed out about that. However, I've never been so far away for so long. I've always been able to hop in my car or on a bus or train to get to my family and friends if I needed to. How am I going to say goodbye to my 11 year old brother who is excited for me, but I know doesn't really get this whole Peace Corps thing or the concept of how much time 27 months actually is? What if something happens in my family when I'm gone, and I'm not there to help? How am I going to say goodbye to my very old dog Maggie knowing that is it very likely she will pass away when I'm gone? I don't want to tear up at all because I don't want anyone to take that as me being unhappy or not wanting to go. I don't want them to worry about me because I am happy, and I absolutely do want to go. I know I will say goodbyes and that I will be alright, but I also know that goodbyes are going to be the most difficult part of the next month by far. There is nothing else left to worry about!
My parents are throwing me a goodbye party on the 19th. I think that will help with the goodbye process and enable things to feel a little more real too. Many of my extended family members from further away are even coming , as well as close friends. We are going to eat, drink, and dance! It should be a lot of fun, and I'm glad to be able to spend time with people I care about. As one of my best friends said I'm going to be "peacing out in style"!
2/21/11
luggage, hard drives, and insomnia...Oh my!
I have 38 days until my Peace Corps journey begins! Crazy, huh?! Time is going by so fast. Yesterday I spent time figuring out my luggage situation, which initially I was stressed about. I ended up finding two carry on sized bags and both have wheels, which I was happy about. Along with my hiking pack, which I will check, I think I will have plenty of space for what I'm bringing.
Last night I spent time with two of my best friends, one who is in the process of moving to her new apartment. We sat in an empty living room on the floor eating sushi and chatting about life. When I told them I had been nervous about packing for Botswana both laughed at me. "You are insanely great at packing. Do you not remember those Alternative Spring Break trips during which you had one bag with everything you needed and everyone else had four. YOU do not need to worry" they told me. I tried to explain how this is VERY different. This is TWENTY SEVEN MONTHS and not a week or two. This is going to AFRICA.They both just smiled and said "Shep, you will figure it out. You always do.Don't stress". I love their simple reassurance and how sometimes that is all it takes to make me feel atleast a little more at ease.
When I got home I went through my closet stuffed with random Botswana gear. Sorting through it and organizing it, while trying to pack some of it made me feel so much better! I realized that I actually don't have that much that I need or want to bring, and that feels very freeing! I packed a lot of my summer clothing that I will not be wearing here in Maine before April and some other things that I got specifically for Botswana. Now I get to go through my pictures and figure out which ones I'm going to bring and which will be left behind. I'm kind of excited about that. I also get to figure out how to use the external hard drive I got and how to get my favorite movies and tv shows onto it.
Overall, I'm very enthusiastic about going. I would say that at this point I am much more enthusiastic than I am nervous. (Obviously, I'm a little nervous too). I haven't been sleeping that well because this is how I get when I'm enthusiastic aboutanything ever, and going to Africa is kind of a big deal. Although not being able to get to sleep until late is at times greatly annoying, I am glad that the reason for my insomnia is because of something I'm happy about. I really do feel lucky to have this opportunity, and I can't stop smiling about it.
Last night I spent time with two of my best friends, one who is in the process of moving to her new apartment. We sat in an empty living room on the floor eating sushi and chatting about life. When I told them I had been nervous about packing for Botswana both laughed at me. "You are insanely great at packing. Do you not remember those Alternative Spring Break trips during which you had one bag with everything you needed and everyone else had four. YOU do not need to worry" they told me. I tried to explain how this is VERY different. This is TWENTY SEVEN MONTHS and not a week or two. This is going to AFRICA.They both just smiled and said "Shep, you will figure it out. You always do.Don't stress". I love their simple reassurance and how sometimes that is all it takes to make me feel atleast a little more at ease.
When I got home I went through my closet stuffed with random Botswana gear. Sorting through it and organizing it, while trying to pack some of it made me feel so much better! I realized that I actually don't have that much that I need or want to bring, and that feels very freeing! I packed a lot of my summer clothing that I will not be wearing here in Maine before April and some other things that I got specifically for Botswana. Now I get to go through my pictures and figure out which ones I'm going to bring and which will be left behind. I'm kind of excited about that. I also get to figure out how to use the external hard drive I got and how to get my favorite movies and tv shows onto it.
Overall, I'm very enthusiastic about going. I would say that at this point I am much more enthusiastic than I am nervous. (Obviously, I'm a little nervous too). I haven't been sleeping that well because this is how I get when I'm enthusiastic aboutanything ever, and going to Africa is kind of a big deal. Although not being able to get to sleep until late is at times greatly annoying, I am glad that the reason for my insomnia is because of something I'm happy about. I really do feel lucky to have this opportunity, and I can't stop smiling about it.
2/17/11
42 days and Funny Kids
42 days until I peace out to Africa and here is where my life is at...
I told my students about my leaving last week during a wing meeting. It was difficult telling them, but freeing at the same time. I actually have a funny story to go along with this. One of my students was not paying any attention and was texting and spacing out during the meeting right when I told them I was going to Africa and loudly said to a student sitting next to her about 10 minutes later, "Wait, we're going to Africa?" to which about 20 other students responded with "No, SHE is!" in unison. It was a great lesson in paying attention for that student and provided me with an amazing dose of comic relief.
I still have a month left at work, and I'm honestly finding it very difficult to focus. I put a smile on my face and push through and am trying to enjoy the moments during which I feel like I'm helping a student or having fun with them. For example, we randomly had a dance party on my wing the other day, and I tried to learn how to dance "the jerk" and ended up looking ridiculous but laughing a whole lot. Moments like that help.
This weekend I will have four days off because I have a lot of personal days. My aunt and one of my cousins are coming up to Maine to visit, and I want to be able to spend time with them. They probably won't travel up this way again before April, which means this will be the last time I see them before going to Africa. We have plans of snow tubing, eating, shopping, and going to my little brother's dance rehearsals. It will be nice.
I spent the weekend before Valentine's Day going out to dinner with two of my best friends, and it was glorious. We ate so much. I also received some pretty fantastic tokens of their love including a candy heart ring and a card about bugs haha. Actual Valentine's day was spent working and dealing with some tough situations with students treating each other very badly. However, in the end I was able to help them resolve their conflict, and I think gain some respect for each other. I think that is what I like most about my job right now; teaching my students to try to see things from each other's point of view a little. Today I saw a room of girls who told me two days ago that they could never get along again or respect each other talking and smiling, and then I watched them go into the cafeteria to eat dinner together. I'd be lying if I said that didn't put a smile on my face.
So I will make it through the next month thinking about moments like these and by spending every chance I get away from work with those I love.
I'm happy, and life is good (with a side of crazy)
I told my students about my leaving last week during a wing meeting. It was difficult telling them, but freeing at the same time. I actually have a funny story to go along with this. One of my students was not paying any attention and was texting and spacing out during the meeting right when I told them I was going to Africa and loudly said to a student sitting next to her about 10 minutes later, "Wait, we're going to Africa?" to which about 20 other students responded with "No, SHE is!" in unison. It was a great lesson in paying attention for that student and provided me with an amazing dose of comic relief.
I still have a month left at work, and I'm honestly finding it very difficult to focus. I put a smile on my face and push through and am trying to enjoy the moments during which I feel like I'm helping a student or having fun with them. For example, we randomly had a dance party on my wing the other day, and I tried to learn how to dance "the jerk" and ended up looking ridiculous but laughing a whole lot. Moments like that help.
This weekend I will have four days off because I have a lot of personal days. My aunt and one of my cousins are coming up to Maine to visit, and I want to be able to spend time with them. They probably won't travel up this way again before April, which means this will be the last time I see them before going to Africa. We have plans of snow tubing, eating, shopping, and going to my little brother's dance rehearsals. It will be nice.
I spent the weekend before Valentine's Day going out to dinner with two of my best friends, and it was glorious. We ate so much. I also received some pretty fantastic tokens of their love including a candy heart ring and a card about bugs haha. Actual Valentine's day was spent working and dealing with some tough situations with students treating each other very badly. However, in the end I was able to help them resolve their conflict, and I think gain some respect for each other. I think that is what I like most about my job right now; teaching my students to try to see things from each other's point of view a little. Today I saw a room of girls who told me two days ago that they could never get along again or respect each other talking and smiling, and then I watched them go into the cafeteria to eat dinner together. I'd be lying if I said that didn't put a smile on my face.
So I will make it through the next month thinking about moments like these and by spending every chance I get away from work with those I love.
I'm happy, and life is good (with a side of crazy)
2/11/11
To-Do list
This is NOT a list of Botswana preparation, but it IS a list of things that will keep me sane and happy as I enthusiastically prepare for my big adventure.
celebrate an early Valentine's day with some of my best friends by getting dressed up and eating large quantities of Chinese food
Watch my brother dance
play in the snow
visit Greenville and Bar Harbor
eat a Maine lobster
watch and download episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Glee" like it is my job
laugh with my family and friends
eat homemade mac and cheese
eat buffalo chicken flavored anything and everything
use my nail salon gift certificate given to me by a wonderful friend
go dancing
scrapbook and smile while looking at old pictures
spend time with Benny, Oliver, and Maggie ( my family's dogs)
eat anything with peanut butter cups in it
do Pilate's work outs and laugh at myself while doing them
try to learn a little guitar
sleep in
take long showers
go to Denny's late at night like old times and have some honey mustard
smile, breath, and remember that everything will be OK
celebrate an early Valentine's day with some of my best friends by getting dressed up and eating large quantities of Chinese food
Watch my brother dance
play in the snow
visit Greenville and Bar Harbor
eat a Maine lobster
watch and download episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Glee" like it is my job
laugh with my family and friends
eat homemade mac and cheese
eat buffalo chicken flavored anything and everything
use my nail salon gift certificate given to me by a wonderful friend
go dancing
scrapbook and smile while looking at old pictures
spend time with Benny, Oliver, and Maggie ( my family's dogs)
eat anything with peanut butter cups in it
do Pilate's work outs and laugh at myself while doing them
try to learn a little guitar
sleep in
take long showers
go to Denny's late at night like old times and have some honey mustard
smile, breath, and remember that everything will be OK
2/7/11
Another type of Count Down...
I feel like I keep counting down the days I have left before I leave for Africa, but something I have not been counting down is the days I have left at my job, which is now 26. Although I'm looking forward to finishing up so I can focus my attention on preparing for Africa, I am somewhat glad to still be working because it gives me something else to focus on. I work as a Residential Advisor at a school for 16-24 year old students, and the wing I'm in charge of has 35 students on it. I've only been working there since I moved back to Maine in August to live at home for a while. During my time there I have made some positive connections with students and staff. I am going to miss them. My co-workers know now, and they have been very supportive and encouraging. One of them told me my life expectancy was going to go down, but another RA and I had a good laugh about his comment because who says that to someone?! I know he meant well and was just trying to express concern for me though, which is why I am able to laugh it off. Another one of my co- workers is going to cosmetology school and cut my hair for me and treated it with a special conditioner all for free as part of one of her assignments, which was very nice of her. I will truly miss my Co-Ra and mentor who is in her 60s, from Argentina, and is both one of the kindest and toughest people I have ever met ( and absolutely hillarious). She was one of the first people I told, next to my supervisor, and her response was "Well, Kristen, you have to do, what you have to do".
The students do not know yet, and I was advised to wait until only a couple of weeks before leaving because they "may not listen anymore" or may "stop caring", but ultimately it is up to me. I've decided to tell them this week because I feel I owe that to them. I have built trust with them, and I feel it is best to be honest. Overall they are very hardworking, kind-hearted students, and I have faith in them being able to handle the change and continue to maintain the same sense of community on the wing. Also, it is possible they will hire my replacement sooner than later, and I am actually hoping that happens.
Anyway, the counting down continues
The students do not know yet, and I was advised to wait until only a couple of weeks before leaving because they "may not listen anymore" or may "stop caring", but ultimately it is up to me. I've decided to tell them this week because I feel I owe that to them. I have built trust with them, and I feel it is best to be honest. Overall they are very hardworking, kind-hearted students, and I have faith in them being able to handle the change and continue to maintain the same sense of community on the wing. Also, it is possible they will hire my replacement sooner than later, and I am actually hoping that happens.
Anyway, the counting down continues
2/6/11
52 days...
In 52 days I will be on my way to Botswana. I will be leaving my family ,friends, and 3 dogs. I will be saying some final goodbyes; though, I feel like I've already started to say some goodbyes or at least have been preparing to. Through this whole process I have been very enthusiastic. All of my friends and family know that I talk about it non-stop and usually with a huge smile on my face. I think a couple of days ago was the first time it has actually felt real that I'm going, and I broke down a little. It is difficult to explain, but I was writing down addresses and important phone numbers for myself to take with me and for my family, and I guess it just hit me like a ton of bricks that this is REAL. I didn't feel like being around anyone, which anyone who knows me is a rare occasion because I'm typically a people person. I was sitting in my room by myself after watching one of my favorite TV shows, which was not at all sad, and started to tear up. It is hard because my family doesn't really get it. They are supportive, but I don't want them to think I am having second thoughts because I am not so I don't really talk about it with them. I've been reading blogs of others going to Botswana in April, and some of them sound slightly freaked out as well so maybe this is normal? I am not complaining or whining about going because believe me, I feel so lucky to have this opportunity. I'm just scared to put it simply.
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