This weekend there was a huge wedding anniversary party on my compound. My landlord and his wife renewed their vows after 25 years of marriage. There was a lobala celebration on Thursday, during which there was a lot of singing, music, and the giving of cows ( The groom gives cows to the bride's family...in this case cows had been given before when they first married so there were fewer cows given, and these cows were slaughtered for the brie or bbq at the wedding). There have been many people from outside of my village who have been staying in the traditional house and the new house that was just built on my compound. On Friday people were just relaxing and spending time together, and those in the wedding were working on preparations. Yesterday was the wedding day itself. I woke up at 4:30am because I had been told that would be when cooking would begin, but when I looked outside I didn't see any signs of anyone else being awake yet so I went back to bed for a while for getting dressed and ready for the day. At a little before 6am I could hear that people were awake outside so I went out to join in on the cooking. I ended up helping with cutting a lot of cabbage and onions We were prepping food until about 12:30pm. Then people were changing into wedding clothing and setting up a tent and chairs. Some people I knew from the clinic arrived with their friends and family and at this point it was starting to get very crowded and there were not enough chairs so I brought some chairs out from my house for them and spent time talking with them and socializing until the ceremony started later in the afternoon. By the time 7pm rolled around I was spent. Although I was having a great time, being around so many people and being kind of "on display" as the only American at the party was a bit overwhelming. I felt exhausted from busting out any little bit of Setswana I could use, being proposed to, and being asked for food from my own house off and on throughout the day and having to say no over and over. I ended up taking a TO to hang out inside with Dobby and rest for a bit. Taking a break definitely helped, and I went back outside to socialize again afterward.
Something really great that this wedding weekend made me realize is how at home I now feel here. Even though I felt "on display" this weekend, and it made me realize that how on most days I do not feel like that anymore and that for the most part the people asking me for things were people from outside of Werda who do not know me at all. Yes, of course I stand out, and of course people in my village will occasionally ask me for money or propose, that is just a fact of life of being a PCV, and it will probably always happen. However, it is rare for those things to happen in my village now, and I really do feel more like a part of my community here more days than I don't now. It is a very cool feeling to feel happy here and not just "I'm excited to be someplace new" happy, but truly comfortable.
The one thing that is bothering me here right now is that some of my friends are in very difficult positions at site that they did not put themselves in . I feel badly that I'm feeling comfortable and happy when others aren't, even though they are trying, but there are things going on that are out of their control. I know this is Peace Corps and that frustrating things happen to all of us now and then, but there are people who can't seem to catch a break right now and that just doesn't seem fair. It is hard watching friends going through these things and not being able to fix it for them and make it better. I'm not writing this just to vent but to express that PCVs do become like a family and when you see other members of your PCV family suffering it is concerning and really does impact the entire family.
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